by OldGreyBear » Fri Dec 10, 2004 10:01 am
The folowing is a little long, and its sorta not a cermony but I can guarantee you its original. I wrote it after seeing the Motorcycle Skit, AKA Roughrider Skit for the 20th billioneth time. It was written for summercamp so its already a little dated, but I think you can follow it. And if you old guy (!) dont get it, remember, it was written for the youth:
Scout 1: Hey Walter (or other name), how are you doing?
Scout 2: Fine, You know I really like Summer Camp, but I miss being in touch with music
Scout 1: Yeah, I know what you mean, but the guys in my troop try to find things related to music all around us
Scout 2: How do you do that?
Scout 1: Well, its like at the trading post, whatever the total I always give them 5 cents more than the total so I can get a NICKELBACK
Scout 2: Whoa NELLY, that’s pretty good, you mean like what’s the stuff you eat on a cob?
Scout 1: Yeah, that’s it, KORN And if your in a hurry What’s that?
Scout 2: Oh easy, RUSH, I guess you could say NO DOUBT it’s a SIMPLE PLAN to keep music in mind at all times This is great since I am such an AUDIOSLAVE
Scout 1: Yeah, this way I don’t feel so TRAPT I head a kid in one of the troops is really homesick, he woke up last night screaming
Scout 2: Yeah, he doesn’t think anybody likes him and feels like an OUTKAST
Scout 1: You know what we call the glow of the fire after the flames die down?
Scout 2: EVANESCENCE?
Scout 1: When the sun rises they say day breaks …
Scout 2: And when the sun sets, THE DARKNESS falls
Scout 1: Good, You know how the OA get their fires started,
Scout 2: Sure, liquid FUEL
Scout 1: Sure are a lot of bugs around here, do you have any repellent?
Scout 2: Sure I do, its 12 percent deet, they call it D-12, repells anything
Scout 1: Hey you kids in the front row, quit talking and behave like scouts
Scout 2: Yeah, do we have to call for an USHER to throw you out?
Scout 1: Can you believe the menu? BLACK EYED PEAS three days in a row
Scout 2: Yeah, that’s not right, that’s stupid, its outrageous, its LUDICRIS! Did you see those dumplings they made? They looked more like a LIMP BIZKIT than anything else
Scout 1: Did you hear the San Antonio Spurs starters all went sailing together after the season? They got in some bad weather though and went through a series of storms
Scout 2: Ok, that explains the Head line, Typhoons MAROON 5
Scout 1: I really like the Camp Director this year, he is a really nice guy
Scout 2: Yeah, I know what you mean, You could say he is a PRINCE among men I hear he flies a JET in the Air National Guard
Scout 1: Hey, I just got a letter from home, my mom judges show dogs as a hobby
Scout 2: She does? That’s neat, what breed of Dog ?
Scout 1: Yeah, her specialty is the Spaniel breed, you know like Cocker Spaniel, Springer Spaniel, Irish water Spaniel, those kinds of dogs There was quite an stir at the National Spaniel Show last month my mom says
Scout 2: What happened?
Scout 1: Well, the headline in Spaniels Monthly says it all, BRITTANY SPEARS Number one rank I am not sure about the E-Con Director though
Scout 2: What do you mean? I really like him, he/she is a whiz at identifying edible plants
Scout 1: Well, he/she might think he/she is good at identifying edible plants, but you know those wild mushrooms that were picked?
Scout 2: Yeah, I think they were referred to as Houbies
Scout 1: Yeah, Houbies, Scoutcraft cooked some of those Houbies, they smelled awful
Scout 2: You mean?
Scout 1: That’s right, the Houbies stank
Scout 1: Did you hear next year they are combining the Space Exploration merit badge with Environmental Science next year
Scout 2: Don’t tell me, for three days you have to observe an ALIEN ANT FARM
Scout 1: Well, watching ants, even alien ones wouldn’t be as bad as watching bees, those things hurt when they STING, By the way, what happened to your shirt? Its awful dirty, did you get in a mud fight?
Scout 2: Oh,no it got STAIND in a PUDDLE OF MUD while I as running through LINKIN PARK it was feeding time at the zoo and I wanted to see the GORRILLAZ eat
Scout 1: I am not sure about the Camp EMT either
Scout 2: How’s That
Scout 1: I got a bug in my eye and it hurt, he said I should just flush it out with my own tears
Scout 2: You mean he wanted you to cry?
Scout 1: No, not cry, but open and close my eyes real fast
Scout 2: Oh I see, he wanted you to BLINK 182 times a minutes
Scout 1: I guess the Staff/Leader Soccer game got a little out of hand last night
Scout 2: Yeah, I hear 3 staff members were issued a YELLOWCARD
Scout 1: What do you call your neighbor next to the guy two houses from you,
Scout 2: That’s, easy, he is THREE DOORS DOWN
Scout 3: Hey what are you guys talking about?
Scout 2: Ryan here is telling me how to keep music in mind by using musical group names in general conversation
Scout 3: Oh no, not U-2 !!!
(turns to the audience)
Here’s one we all can do,
If a guy who works with silver is called a silver smith, and a guy who works with gold is a goldsmith then a guy who works with arrows is an:
(waits)
Aerosmith
(they get ready to leave the stage)
Scout 1: Hey, did you think this skit was funny?
Scout 2: I am not sure, I just think the camp director is happy we didn’t mention BARE NAKED LADIES
(Walk off )