Parental Involvement.

[BM_Crawford]

I have a parent who called me and asked if I could be a merit badge councilor for there son and then is asking to set up a meeting for me and their son. I feel the scout should be asking me not the parent. How do you go about handling this kind of problem?

[t305spl]

Simply say "have your son call me to make these arrangements." Just say that then Thank you goodbye. This is up to the scout not the parent.

[Scouting179]

Just politely. Say "we like to see the son show this initiative..."

[Chief J]

Agrre, just tell the parent to have their son call you and you will make the arrangements with him to work on the merit badge.

Chief J

[Mrw]

What every one else said!

[evmori]

Ditto! The Scout is responsible for making the arrangements with the MB counselor. After all, he - not mom & dad - is the one earning the MB.

[DadScout]

I've gone over this one with my son recently. He's done about 6-8 MB's and is 1st class. However, all the MB's were in camp or a group setting so he never had to initate the contact. I made it clear to him, as his SM did, that he needed to contact the counselor before starting. You would think we were asking for him to solve global warming. After talking with an ASM & Adv chair I was assured my son was acting as expected. For many boys it's really hard to just pick up the phone & call some adult stranger and start chatting about the <whatever> MB.

I assured my son that these counselors sign up for the job knowing that some scout will call out of the blue. Just as I expected some scout to call me for the 2 I counsel for. It's understood if your nervous, stammer, and forget things while on the call. But do it a few times and you'll get past it.
He made the calls, but asked that I sit close by.

The parent needs to let go, the boy needs the experience. It's in both of their bests interests. The parent needs to see it from that POV. Hope the little story helps

[Lynda J]

I counsel Kevin. Guess what he has to call me to set up to work on a badge, as does any other boy in our troop. Now they can use the phone in our meeting place and call my cell phone but I want them making the same type of contact they would if they were calling a counselor from another troop in our district.
And if a parent calls me. I will tease them by saying "I am so glad YOU want to earn this badge." When they say it is for their son I suggest that they have him call me himself.

[Mrw]

The first time my older son called a counselor, he got on the phone and said, "I...uh...errr...sorry." Then he hung up the phone as flustered as he could be.

I had him write down what he wanted to say and the next day he called again and read his little speech. It was never that hard again!

[ASM-142]

This is the scouts responsibility. It is a big step in learning to not only use the telephone properly but also to talk with adults.

[ynotquilt]

Well, although I agree with what is being said, I have a little different take. My son just started working on his first merit badge outside of camp or the troop. He has not been allowed to use the phone at home other than to call his grandparents until about a month ago when he was allowed to start calling one or two friends. That is our family policy. I DID call the merit badge counselor and talked to him first but then had my son call the next day. He will be calling those counselors that I am acquainted with now, but I will contact anyone that I do not know before he calls them. That is just how our family is. It is something that we will work him into over time as he grows and matures.

[TCC7]

Brian,
Two questions:
1. I was just wondering if the Scout had already had the Scoutmaster approve his Blue Card to start work and assigned him to you as a MB counselor?
2. Something I've been wondering about for a while and never knew the answer. Is the MB counselor a unit position? If so, can we hold a position like ASM and be a MB counselor also? You know, the rule about only holding one position per unit. I know we all do it.

[RWSmith]

I understand and agree that it's the Scout's responsibility to "make the call". However, I'd like to throw the Scout's perspective into the mix... None of my kids, not even my 16-y/o, are allowed to call an adult, unless I know about it, in advance. Most of us have "taught" this same rule to our kids, not to mention the fact that they get the same message by everybody else, from their kindergarden teachers to McGruff. So, naturally, the kid somehow "feels" that, even though cold-calling a MBC is supposed to be okay, it's just "seems" like talking to a total stranger on the street. So, in addition to what's already been discussed in the above posts...

If a parent calls me for the kid, I explain about how it's the Scout's responsibility, yada yada yada; but, I also encourage the parent to make it feel safe for the kid to call me by giving the child explicit permission to call me to set up a MB session, to even stand by the phone the first time or two, 'til the kid gets comfortable with me.

Conversely, if a Scout makes a cold-call to me, the very first thing I get clear is, that one of his parents has given him permission to call. Otherwise, he gets to hang up, go get permission, and then call me back.

That's just the way I am. I'm real big on who gets into my kid's bubbles; and I have no problem expecting other Scouts parents to do the same.

EDIT: YNotquilt, I see you and I were thinking the same thing, at the same time.

[BM_Crawford]

Brian,
Two questions:
1. I was just wondering if the Scout had already had the Scoutmaster approve his Blue Card to start work and assigned him to you as a MB counselor?
2. Something I've been wondering about for a while and never knew the answer. Is the MB counselor a unit position? If so, can we hold a position like ASM and be a MB counselor also? You know, the rule about only holding one position per unit. I know we all do it.

Hmm I suppose it depends on what kind of Merit Badge Councilor you are. I am a district MBC so I suppose my MBCouncilorship would be considered a District Position (only guessing )

What I did was just explained at the meeting to the parent. It was the scouts first merit badge outside of summer camp. She said she wasn't aware of this and the scoutmaster didn't inform her. Thank you for all of your great suggestions though. This will help me in the future.

[TenderfootMom]

I agree with all the other posts that it is the Scout's responsibility to initiate the call and conduct the "business end" of the Merit Badge but scheduling a meeting is quite another issue. In a house with 3 very active kids there is no way my 12 year old can set up any kind of meeting without me getting involved. Our schedule is so complicated that I wouldn't expect my son to act as a facilitator between the MBC and myself. At this point I would have to get on the phone.

Also, as a parent I have a responsibility to have some personal knowledge of the individuals I allow to influence my son's life. You may all seem like nice people but we don't know you. Don't be so critical if a parent is erring on the side of caution. Unfortunately, it is not a safe world out there sometimes (this also goes for older Scouts, they are not adults yet).

[Mrw]

I always had my boys schedule their own meetings, but with me sitting right there next to them. That way they could say, "Is Monday evening okay?" and I could help them get a good time without doing it for them.

Or I could tell them for example that Wednesdays and Thursdays were okay, but not any other time. And they could set them time within the framework of when I said I could take them.

[BM_Crawford]

I always had my boys schedule their own meetings, but with me sitting right there next to them. That way they could say, "Is Monday evening okay?" and I could help them get a good time without doing it for them.

Or I could tell them for example that Wednesdays and Thursdays were okay, but not any other time. And they could set them time within the framework of when I said I could take them.

I perfectly understand that. How could a boy know the schedual of their parents I did the same thing when I was younger and called councilors.

Don't be so critical if a parent is erring on the side of caution. Unfortunately, it is not a safe world out there sometimes (this also goes for older Scouts, they are not adults yet).

The scout needs a buddy for the meeting, the parent can go as his buddy. The scout should never go alone so the parent can there make sure the councilor is behaving appropriately.

[ICanCanoeCanU]

We also encourage all the boys to have a MBC meet them at our meeting or meet at the counselors meeting. This should ease the minds of many parents.

[Lynda J]

There isn't a big a problem with the boys calling when they are from within your own troop. When it comes to boys from other troops
I don't have any problem with a parent calling me about counseling their son on a badge. But I do explain that it is their sons responsibility to contact me. When the scout calls I will give him several dates I have free and let him go back to his parents with them. It is then HIS responsibility to call me with the date.
To be honest I know most of the counselors that are on our district list. If one of the boys from my troop is looking for a counselor out of troop I will normally recommend someone from the list our district puts out. This way the parent feels better about the fact that I do know the person.
I think they should award the parents a badge pin. Since most of us are involved in the work our sons do on badges.

[ynotquilt]

I think they should award the parents a badge pin. Since most of us are involved in the work our sons do on badges.

That would be a great idea!!! In looking at all these badges, I keep thinking that it would be really neat to be able to do so many of them. Besides, since I am a female and not a male I didn't get a chance to earn them before!