adhd

[JazerNorth]

I guess mainly on the ADHD issue, I would rather see parents focus more attention on their children. I see them head off to work, recreation, and more while their children suffer. I don't mean physically suffer, as they have everything they need or want, but emotionally. Children need the attention of their parents more than they need stuff. Usually (and I use this term broadly and generally) the issue is with parents who just simply don't spend time with their children, then when they act out, it is ADHD (miss diagnosed by the parents). I have 2 that are that way, and when they go on trips with me, I don't remind them to take their meds. What happens then? After a day or so, the kid is normal happy and running around with the rest of the boys. I also have one that is ADHD, and he definitely needs to take his meds, or it gets bad. So I have seen both sides and understand them pretty well.

I thought it stood for "In My Humble Opinion".

OK, not to preempt this thread, but then does that mean that you have non-humble opinions as well?

[Lynda J]

A dear friend of mine got a call from the school about 5 years ago regarding his son. His son is a handfull but not a bad kid. The teacher ( about 24 years old and her second year of teaching) told him that the son couldn't come back to school until they took him to the Dr. and had him put on medication because he was ADHD. I mean the teacher made him come and pick this kid up right then, and told him which Dr. to take him to, that day. I was a teacher years ago, worked with problem kids and simply couldn't believe what I was hearing.
He took him to the Dr. and this quack looked down him throat and in his ears and wrote him a prescription for reteline(?). I was so against it because this kid was 12 and had never had any testing done on him and to be honest didn't show the classic signs of ADD or ADHD.
His dad took him back to school the next day with the medication. Within a week this kid was so depressed I had his his dad contact MHMR and get this kid in for true testing. He went through well over a month of testing and was not ADHD. They sent a letter to the school. The teacher was so angry. Her comment was that he distrupted class and she wanted him medicated. His dad ask that he be placed with another teacher and there were no problems.
I personally think that many times parents and teachers decide that a kid is ADHD and want them medicated so they don't have to deal with a problem kid. In this boys case it was a matter of him not being challenged in this teachers class. He was bored.
We have become a society that you can fix everything with a pill. We start our kids on mood altering medications as young a 3 and then wonder why so many of them end up having major drug problems.
Well guess what. When we teach them early on that
"A pill will make you feel good," "A pill will help you sleep." "A pill will help you control you anger." We teach them that they don't have to be held accountable for their actions.
Now don't get me wrong. There are lots of ADD and ADHD kids out that that are helped so much by medication. But I think we are simply to quick to tag a kid with these disorders rather than looking into causes.

[diamondbackAPL]

well said, Lynda.

[Woodbadgegirl]

Yes, Lynda, very well said! I had a simular experience when my middle son was in 1st grade. His teacher said that she felt he had ADHD and that we needed to get him tested. So we did. When the results came back, my hubby and I were both very surprised. He was borderline gifted!! That's a far cry from being ADHD!!! My son had a wonderful teacher in 2nd grade and will be having her again in 3rd! She has really seen his gifts and helps bring out that creativity!!

[Rick Tyler]

I had a similar experience when my middle son was in 1st grade. His teacher said that she felt he had ADHD and that we needed to get him tested. So we did. When the results came back, my hubby and I were both very surprised. He was borderline gifted!! That's a far cry from being ADHD!!!

Intelligence and ADHD are unrelated. Both of my sons either are or have been in gifted children's programs and both suffer from the inattention sub-diagnosis of ADHD. My older son was considered for admission to the University of Washington at age 13 (he decided he wasn't interested). Having seen our sons go through evaluation, my wife and I are now pretty sure that we both have adult ADHD, which we've learned to cope with through decades of struggling. If it's genetic, it sure runs in our family.

I recommend you check out this list called "Misconceptions about attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)" at WebMD: http://my.webmd.com/hw/health_guide_atoz/hw164660.asp.

[Woodbadgegirl]

Thank you very much for the information. Our son went through extensive testing and they determined that he did not have ADHD. They did however learn though the testing that he was borderline gifted, and was probably bored in the class room and that is why the teacher felt he had ADHD. Children who are not challenged enough will be bored and display what some perceive as disruptive behavior. The poor guy was sat off by himself from the rest of the class during the entire school year. He is thriving fantastically now! What a difference a teacher can make!!

[Lynda J]

Rick is right. ADHD has little to do with how smart a kid is. In fact many ADD & ADHD kids are very very smart. They simply have a problem channeling their thoughts. Like with many learning disabilities. It isn't that the kid isn't smart, it is simply that he doesn't know how to direct that smart.

My brother couldn't read the questions on a test and them write the answers down on paper. But if you read the questions to him he could answer everyone correct. That was 45 years ago and he was simply told he was stupid. Now he would have gotten the help he needed.

[Woodbadgegirl]

I just hate it when people tell a child that they are stupid! It just get's my goat. Shame on those people that did that to your brother!!

[Rick Tyler]

A lot of boys get pegged as "ADHD" by (mostly female) teachers in elementary school. Think of the behavior that is rewarded in the school setting: obedient, quiet, polite, taking turns, verbally-oriented. Call me crazy, but this describes a lot of girls and not many boys. Anyone been a Cub Scout leader? Most younger boys are physical, loud, easily-bored, non-verbal, and unable to sit still for long periods. These are not characteristics rewarded in most school settings.

This is based on my own experience of what is admittedly a pretty small number of teachers. Feel free to add this disclaimer: I've met good teachers who don't fall into this pattern. I applaud them.

1. Young teachers who don't have their own kids really don't understand boys. They prefer girls. This is more of a problem with female than male teachers. Boys are disciplined more often and get worse grades.

2. Older teachers, especially those with children of their own, understand and do better with boys.

3. Rigid, rules-oriented teachers (unfortunately, the profession attracts a fair number of these folks) are uncomfortable with any behavior or intellect that challenges their views.

Every problem we ever had with our sons with a teacher has been with someone who had no children of their own, and were very rules oriented.

How about a law that no on can teach unless they have a 5-year-old at home, or have been a Cub Scout den leader for two years?

[Woodbadgegirl]

How about a law that no on can teach unless they have a 5-year-old at home, or have been a Cub Scout den leader for two years?

I like that one!! I have been a Cub Scout Leader for years!! My first group, I had two boys on medicine for I guess ADHD, their parents never really opened up to me and told me what it was for. They were a handful, but a blast!! They are now in Boy Scouts and doing awesome!!

My middle son's den, I think Adam is the only one not on some kind of medication!! You wouldn't know it though, the boys all act the same! Wild & Crazy!! I love them and we have a great time. We just went to Day Camp in July and they were all boys!!

[cballman]

now that we are on the same page with this issue. I will challenge each and everyone of yall to find a child in our troop or pack and see if we can make a difference. and then I would like each of you to challenge more adults to see if they can make a difference in any and all children that have been labled and bad kids. then and only then we have a start to address this. I have had to deal with a great many kids and I think I have made a difference in a few. so lets keep our heads up and go get gettum.

[Woodbadgegirl]

so lets keep our heads up and go get gettum.

I totally agree!! I see a couple in my troop now that could use the extra TLC and I have taken them under my wing.

[Lynda J]

I don't know about a teacher being required to have a 5 year old. One of the best teachers I ever had was a woman who never had children. But she simply knew how to deal with them. Had her in 6th grade and to this day respect her and am thankful for her teaching.

I have a boy in my troop who has a terrible home situtation. Eight adults living in the house and 4 kids under 15. Every adult gets State aid and so do the kids. There is always money for beer and such but never money for anything to do with the kids.
When he was in 3rd grade his teacher came to me about getting him in scouts. I talked to him and he really wanted in. It took me 2 months to run his mother down to get her to sign the membership application.
I paid for him to join. We now have a sponsor for him that makes sure he goes to any activity he wants to. This year he sold almost $200 in popcorn. Seems stepdad stole the money. Probably to buy drugs.
He is a smart kid. But his grades really fell this year. He and I have had a talk about grades and we have agreed that a 7th grader deserves making better grades for himself, not for anyone else. I hope we can keep him from following the same path his mother and grandparents are.

[cballman]

If we can keep having stories like this to add to our career then and only then I think that then we will be great leaders. but to turn one away unless there is a lot of problems then we still havent failed but if we look at this as a challenge to "do your best" then we have helped. so lets keep up the good work and keep your heads up.

[deweylure]

The troop I am in has several boys with both physical and mental disabilities. It can be a challenge. We enlisted the aid of the parents as well as we did some reading to help us understand. Sometimes we have less problems with these boys than scouts who do not have disabilities.

Also contact your district training chairman . I did and he happens to be a teacher who works with disabled students. Hen is trying to set up an adult training class.
Dewey

[ASM-142]

The troop I am in has several boys with both physical and mental disabilities. It can be a challenge. We enlisted the aid of the parents as well as we did some reading to help us understand. Sometimes we have less problems with these boys than scouts who do not have disabilities.

Also contact your district training chairman . I did and he happens to be a teacher who works with disabled students. Hen is trying to set up an adult training class.
Dewey

If possible you should try to have the parents of the scouts with disabilities not 'help' out. These boys (I am the father of one) need a break from the parent/teacher figure that is always in the lives. This will help them grow. Also, many times the parent needs a break as well. If these parents do not want to be left out then have them help out behind the scenes.

I am not involved directly with my son in scouting for both his benefit and that of others. - this may be right with me and my sone but not for everyone.

[2boysRscouts]

The best source of information on how to reach this kid would be his parents. Most parents are experts on their kids disabilities. In addition, just like not all kids all are alike, not all kids with ADHD, hearing impaired, etc are alike either. What works for one, might not work for another.

[Lynda J]

I have two boys in our troop with ADHD. One far worse than the other.
The better of the two when he starts bouncing I can sit him down and hold his hands and make him look directly at me and talk calmly for a few minutes and he will settle. We try to make sure that we have things he can do during the meeting. He does pretty well. The other is an entirely different story. Mom simply doesn't accept his problems. Does not see to it that he gets his meds as they are needed. Comments that "she doesn't have a problem with him at home", Of course not, he is allowed to do what ever he wants. I really feel sorry for him. I just know that he isn't happy with his life as it is. There are times that the other boys get really upset with him. They try to deal as best they can. But without parent support there isn't much we can do.

[Mrw]

We have one whole patrol that seems to be off-the-wall. We know three of them are diagnosed ADD/ADHD. We suspect another two are as well. The upshot is the two really in control and organized kids are the ones who need extra support when they get frustrated.

Despite all this, they usually show up on time and manage to get done with what they need. Advancement is a bit slow since they are generally pretty sporadic about bringing books for sign-offs.

We did have a kid with CP who used crutches and/or a wheelchair a few years ago. We just watched to make sure he got help if he REALLY needed it as he could work out how to do most things for himself and did not want help most of the time. His determination to be treated the same and do things the same as the other boys was a great motivator for everyone else. No one wanted Elliott to show them up!

[fritz1255]

We have two kids in the Troop, brothers, with add (or I guess that's what it is). Parents are divorced, not to mention very strange, and each has one of the boys living with them. Family situation is not helping at all. The older one has blossomed quite a bit, and is very close to making Eagle (16 yrs old). I don't know if the younger one is going to do as well, but I can testify that if you are patient and caring, good things can happen. I won't say that they fit in perfectly, but it works after a fashion. You do what you can.