SPL and comittee member

[616kayak]

Recently I was at a district event where I had a confrontation with an adult committee member. At the time I was an Spl, I am currently JASM.

I had given a scout the responsibility of running the skit. Whenever I checked on him he said he had it. At camporee I asked him how his skit was going he said he did not have one. He claimed he had no time. Then I had to leave for an SPL meeting. As I left I told him he had 1 hour to get a skit. I told district we would have a skit.

When I returned I asked him for an update on progress for the skit. At that point his father, a committee member, stood up and aggressively demanded I cancel the skit. In the end I had refused to cancel it and he left the camporee within the hour. While this was going on other scouts had taken up the job. We placed third in the skit competition. I was old by adults I handled it well.

He confronted me once again at a meeting a few weeks later.. He claimed his son had not received merit badges from different council and district events. I replied that it is his son’s responsibility to work this out with the advancement chair who refused the merit badges because there was absolutely no record of them. I dropped the argument and said to speak with our advancement chair because there was little I could do.

At both of these events our SM was absent. I behaved like I would when I work at football games dealing with an upset customer. The only exception was when I stood by the skit but in that occasion I never raised my voice or showed sarcasm etc.

My SM has said he supported my actions in both those situations.

How should I respond to a non-SM when I am given a task and feel it is not in the best interest of the troop.

[deweylure]

I think your response was appropriate. From the post I can not tell how much time passed from your going to SPL to JASM. My question is , Is this old baggage the adult is bringin up or current?

I would also ask the SM to speak to this parent . You mentioned he aggresively wanted you to cancel a skit. What happens when a big issue comes up. With the SM absent ,where was the ASM. He should have been around to help handle the matter. It seems the scout does not respect your authority and the parent does not either.
You are going to find in life due to your age some adults will not respect you.

hope this helps keep up the good work. you are a true example of giving back to scouting.

Dewey

[FrankJ]

I find at my age, some people still do not respect me.

As for as the skit. Bringing to issue to the PLC meeting would have been my suggestion. Sounds like you might have done that since the skit went on.

The merit badge issue. Sounds like you did the right thing since you have nothing to do with a scout earning merit bagdes that is really not your problem.

As for as how to deal with people giving bad instruction. Be polite, try to find out the underlying issue & address it. If that doesn't work refer the person to the SM or ASM in charge of the activity.

[616kayak]

Camporee was two months ago and the meeting I mentioned 1 month ago.

What I’m going to end up doing is having a conference with this adult with my dad and the SM. This adult has been pretty negative and this problem needs to be solved because if parents see this attitude they may be less inclined to participate. With such a small troop we need all the parents we can get.

[FrankJ]

Sound like exactly the right sound to do. Enough time has passed so you can deal with the what ever the underlying issue is in an non emotional way.

[WVBeaver05]

What I’m going to end up doing is having a conference with this adult with my dad and the SM. This adult has been pretty negative and this problem needs to be solved because if parents see this attitude they may be less inclined to participate. With such a small troop we need all the parents we can get.

We are all aware of the difficulties with conflict. Managing conflict is a topic for work environments as well as voluteer organizations. A delayed conference is a valuable tool for resolving the underlying issues.

Not knowing the role he plays in your Troop, I would question whether you dad needs to be present if the SM is there. His presence could weaken your position. You and the SM may want to discuss this possibility and decide.

Another question that I would want address is whether the CM is trained? I know that sometimes I sound like a broken record (that would be repeating the same thing for you youngsters who don't understand , but training is a key element. I deal with adults who "do the wrong things" often, because they don't know how Scouting should be. Most frequently, new adult leaders think the adults do/should run the program. I explain it to them, but also try to get them to training so they can see the big picture (and hear the same message from other Scouters).

Good luck with this. You are learning conflict management/resolution skills that will (unfortunately) be used again and again throughout your life.

YiS

[MaScout]

Your response was spot on. You were polite, but you did not allow an adult to railroad you. It is too bad your SM or SA was not there, to back you up at the time, but at least they are in your corner! Our troop (and SPL) had some problems with a Dad some time ago. Dad blew up -- explosively angry. The SPL very politely stood his ground. However, as SM, I WAS there, and was able to deflect the Dad when he wouldn't give it up. He yelled at me, but I didn't care. Hang in there. It is the adults who don't understand the program who are the problem, not the young adults who are doing the right thing.

[Chief J]

From your description and others responses, I agree you have handled this correctly and with much respect and dignity.

I also think the conference between this Committee member, yourself, the SM and I would recomend the Committee Chair.

If the CM's actions are not properly adressed at this meeting, I would recomend a follow-up meeting with the Chartered Organization to discuss additional disciplinary actions.

Chief J

[Lynda J]

I would recommend that you have a COR at the meeting.
It is also clear that you are learning some very good leadership skills.