by jhawk » Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:03 am
Justin, just because this scout is a "really smart kid" does not mean he does not have special needs. Special needs is not synonymous with stupid. He can be very "smart," meaning that he has a high IQ, but still struggle with many elements in life. It doesn't mean he might not have learning disabilities or a form of autism or any number of special needs. You can be disabled in some ways and still be "very smart."
When my son was a baby, he was practically a genius. Seriously, he started speaking at 5 months of age, stood up unassisted at 7 months, was running all over by 8 1/2 months, was reading about 150 words by sight before he was 2, was doing addition and subtraction math problems. he wasn't "taught" any of this--he just started doing it. If you don't know much about child development, that might not mean much, but it is exceptional.
But then something changed. He stopped talking so much. He stopped interacting with people. He started spending all his time lining up his cars and blocks and Legos in lines all over the house and we couldn't move any of them without him freaking out. He made intricate patterns with them. By the time he was 3, he didn't speak to people or seem to understand what we were saying. His world focused on eating a few foods and drinking only water and playing the same way everyday, hearing the same story over and over and over. My genius baby had become an autistic toddler. He got some skills back over time through elementary school, but at 17 1/2 he still struggles academically and socially. Through cub scouts it took him 4 years to say "hi" back to his den leader instead of making a squeaking noise and diving under the nearest large piece of furniture. A lot of progress was made through intensive efforts at school and home and with doctors and therapists. My son didn't get stupid, he just lost his ability to communicate with the world around him. Now he is high-functioning as an autistic, but he still needs educational supports and help reading people's faces and understanding language at times. He was 14 until he knew that you could look at people's faces to see who they were! (He used to "recognize" people by looking at their clothes or shoes. Imagine memorizing the wardrobes of all the people you are supposed to know.) He is not "normal," but he does pretty well with supports. He isn't the genius he started out being, but he isn't stupid. He just can't express himself the way he used to. The boy who spoke so early has some speech problems now as well as language disabilities like dyslexia and problems with pragmatics. He reads, but he was in upper elementary school before he read as well as he did at 2.... He still doesn't drive and might not. Ever. His paperwork for eagle was in his mother's handwriting, not because it was done for him, but because he couldn't spell things correctly or form all the letters well and it's enough of a struggle to say what he needs to to communicate. But he knows lots of things. He picked a project that he has a special interest in and a lot of knowledge about and wanted badly to complete. He did what he needed to do because he has a small, supportive troop with boys who let him be who he is. At merit badge days, I will take notes for him because it takes all of his energy to listen and be in a room filled with sights and sounds and smells that are very distracting in addition to the pressure of learning new material. He does it because he loves it.
If you don't need extra supports to do well in scouting, then thank God that you don't. But have a deeper understanding that many scouts DO need help in some areas, and you don't always know who they are by looking. Scouting is an incredible help for many special needs kids who need structured activities with other kids. I often tell people that it was scouting that helped my son to develop as much as he has more than any other single thing in his life. He is very deserving of his rank. It took him another 2 1/2 years to become SPL, but he did a good job and that wasn't "given" to him either. He is a good scout and a good kid who looks pretty "normal" at first glance these days because he gets the support he needs.
We have a new scout in the troop with autism and his parents aren't sure if he can make Eagle. I'm not ready to decide that... I never thought my son could do it when he crossed over, either. I didn't think he'd make First Class. I was a little quick to judge apparently. This boy is not yet as far along as my son was in his development, but who knows what he can do.... I try to be a little more open-minded these days.
Maybe this scout whose worthiness is being questioned IS just sliding by, but maybe he is working his hardest. The scout himself is really the only one who can determine that. If he is a slacker, that's unfortunate, but that will usually come with it's own punishments in life over time. If he is doing his best, there is no problem. If I were you, Justin, I would focus on my own present and future.
Last edited by
jhawk on Mon Apr 23, 2007 3:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
