Help. I Need Some Advice re behavior problems.

[Billiken]

This past month 3 scouts from our troop traveled with the council contingent to Philmont (40 scouts in all, I think). The scouts are:

Scout #1. Eagle Scout who turned 18 last December and will be a college freshman.
Scout #2. Life Scout who just completed his Eagle project (16 yrs. old)
Scout #3. Life Scout who's Eagle paperwork was turned in YESTERDAY (turns 18 in September) and will be a college freshman.

Tonight I received a call from the Philmont contingent leader. He wanted to let me know, as Scoutmaster, that on the return trip home, in the Denver Airport, these Scouts were disobedient, behaved very poorly, and were disrespectful in front of several airline employees.

Apparently all the scouts were specifically told, in the bus when they arrived at the Denver Airport, to: stay together and keep on thier Class A uniform shirts. These three wandered off with one removing his uniform shirt (with a BSA T-shirt on underneath).

When they were called back they all three acted very irritated at the leaders present. Nothing was said but "heavy sighs and head shaking" were prevalent. One airline ticket agent commented to the contingent leader that "I've never seen Boy Scouts act like that."

Scout #1 is 18 and gone. Nothing to do there.
Scout #2 has always had an "attitude". Sadly, I'm not surprised to hear this about him. (He became Life before I became SM.)
Scout #3 (who removed his shirt) frankly, floored me. He is a great student and always did whatever he could to help new scouts. We had the SM Eagle Conference last Friday. It was a pleasure to sign his Eagle Application. Until this phone call, I would have considered him a "model" Eagle Scout.

Frankly, I don't know what to do about this.

Can I demand that Scouts 2 and 3 write apology letters to the contingent leaders that were present in the airport?

If the contingent leader(s) make comments to the Council Excutive what impact can it have on the Eagle Paperwork currently in process at the council office?

Any thoughts/ideas would be appreciated.

[RWSmith]

This is not meant to minimize their behavior--no, not at all... BUT, Scouts 2 and 3 are on the trail to Eagle, not Sainthood. We adults would do well to remember that Scouts are children; and, they're going to make mistakes.

The contingent leader did his (her) job in notifying you... Now, you, as the SM, should take this opportunity to counsel and mentor (i.e., SMC) all three of these guys--individually, of course. Just because Scout #1 turned 18 last December, you're still the Troop's SM; so, if he'll let you, get with him and talk about it. (Just because you turn 18, that doesn't mean you don't need a mentor anymore.)

Regarding apology letters? Well, that a good idea; but, it's your idea... Maybe you could guide them in that direction... Try to get each one to make a choice that he feels is what he needs to do in order to make it right.

[Lynda J]

As much as you would like to throttle them you really need to talk to them, let them know that you are disappointed in their behaviour (they already know this)and ask them what THEY think should be done to help make ammends for their actions.

I agree with RW. THey are kids, and sometimes kids don't act like us adults would likethem to act. This doesn't mean they are bad kids.

You can bet that growing up I did some things that were "Good Girl Scout" behaviour. Things I am still not proud of. But it really didn't mean I wasn't a good Scout. Just a teenager

[mt_goodrich]

The summer, at camp, we had our most senior boy (Life Scout working on Eagle) act rudely towards one of the adult employees in the dinning hall.

Nevermind that said employee could have handled the situation better herself; however, it didn't excuse the boy's actions.

The SM and I sat down with the boy and after he pled his case to us, he began to realize he could have handled things better too.

We asked him what did he feel he should do. He said he needed to apologize to the person....which he did the next morning.

The employee was impressed that this young man went to her and apologized and in returned, she apologized to him for the way she acted.

[Chief J]

I agree with the sound advice from all above. This is a perfect time to meet with each scout and discuss their actions and why they were inappropriate and how to fix the problem so it does not reoccur.

I also agree with the need to talk to all three scouts involved on an individual basis. If you let them know you are unhappy with their behavior and inquire as to what motivated the behavior, and get them to understand the proper way they should have acted, you will have made a great impact in the lives of these young men.

I don't believe this infraction will hold up the paperwork in process at Council or stop your Scout from Eagle.

Best Regards,
Chief J

[Billiken]

The actions, wandering off and removing a Class A shirt, when told specifically not to, are not what disturbs me the most.

It's the blatant disrespect shown towards the adult Scouters present when they were asked to correct thier actions/mistake(s).

They embarassed themselves and the BSA in front of Continental Airline Ticket Counter Agents (so much so that one Continental employee made the comment I mentioned above).

Again, these are experienced Scouts, two college freshmen and a high school junior (ages, 18, 17, 16).

[FrankJ]

I would talk to the scouts & get their side of the story before making any decision. Sounds like there might be two sides to this story.

[riverwalk]

Yeah, they should have their "day in court", to explain the situation. Hopefully they will offer their own prescription for what they'll do to earn back the respect and trust. I know we can call them kids, and some of their stuff can be frustrating. And some things can chalked up to that...being young.

But then someone at some point has to help them understand some other stuff, that isn't kid stuff. Eagles and Candidates (this could also be in another forum of "can't be Eagle"), must eventually grasp and live a code of Scout spirit, team playing, and leading by example. It's not about badges, ranks, and Eagle by certain age (except for the one age limit). That would be the "factory" we've all heard of. Scouters are charged with great responsibility in activities and travel, not to mention the appearance of Scouting to non-members. So leaders have to step in when members forget what they're doing. Glad everything worked out safely. We had three Scouts leave a meeting one night, on their own, and without any leaders' or parents' knowledge. They were suspended. They went to other Units. The trouble continued. So it really boils down to a member that is out of bounds once (normal stuff) and bounces back, or one that only wants it their way. Pretty soon the picture for that member will be clear to others.