Either the Leaders or the Scout

[FieldSports]

Everyone into a Time Out!

Both "ladies" obviously are embarassed about their borish behavior and the related retaliations. A meeting of only the parties involved with the unit's commissioner should be held and see if everyone can get along. Remind them that words said in anger can not be taken back, but appolgies should be accepted: if they are sincere. If not, then there is the door for the adults.

The SM and committee should never be involved, otherwise it turns into a kangaroo court and the drama continues.

This was a YP issue. The CC (I think she was parent B) obviously was concerned about the physical contact. Otherwise, why would she have intervened? The police should have investigated Parent A and offered condolences to Parent B for the visit, for the obvious misunderstanding. For all of you who say just stand there and talk, you are totally clueless! Imagine you are standing there as was Parent B and you see the youth was being harmed. Lets see - according to you I should ask in most sweetest voice, "Can you Please stop that?" Now of course, instead of this scenerio it is a psyco parent out to hurt the youth and you. No matter - I say "Thank you Parent B for being someone who made sure that he was not hurt." Parent A was an a** for calling the police.

Hence, a YP violation for the contact. Now of course, the only prescribed response is a call to the SE and let them handle it.

Now for the voice of experience. Only leaders can be removed from the program. So Parent B is gone (SE could care less who was a fault, this is their only option. So,that is what they will alway chose), which means that husband is gone also. 2 down now. Good you say? What about their son who is on his way to Eagle?

He walks away from Scouts, because? - look what they did to his parents who both have committed so much time to Scouts. 3 down now. Parent A can be told not to come around. You will loose her child. 4 down. The other child (are we on letter D?) will also drop out because this is a crazy organization with people who can't get along. 5 down. Friends of Leader B leave because if this can happen to such committed Scouters, why should I stick my neck out? 6-8 down. Youth E-X (Webelos 2) do not join the troop, because it is "bad" and "poorly" lead. 12-20 down.

So, back to the OP - Time Out for Everyone and loss of their nap times The youth are watching you.

PS Please do call the commissioner, this is where an impartial voice can help.

[RWSmith]

Now for the voice of experience. Only leaders can be removed from the program. So Parent B is gone (SE could care less who was a fault, this is their only option. So, that is what they will always chose), which means that husband is gone also. 2 down now. Good you say? What about their son who is on his way to Eagle?

He walks away from Scouts, because? - look what they did to his parents who both have committed so much time to Scouts. 3 down now. Parent A can be told not to come around. You will loose her child. 4 down. The other child (are we on letter D?) will also drop out because this is a crazy organization with people who can't get along. 5 down. Friends of Leader B leave because if this can happen to such committed Scouters, why should I stick my neck out? 6-8 down. Youth E-X (Webelos 2) do not join the troop, because it is "bad" and "poorly" lead. 12-20 down.

So, back to the OP .... The youth are watching you.

PS Please do call the commissioner, this is where an impartial voice can help.

THANK YOU, FieldSports! You are dead-on target!

T129ASM,

If it's not too late, PLEASE call you UC (or even better, get an experienced ADC or DC to come along with him/her) to meet ONLY the parents/leaders DIRECTLY involved. Have the Commissioner(s) lay it out (what FieldSports wrote above) and offer the adults their two choices: Kiss and make up, or be removed.

FOR THE KID'S SAKE, both parties need to back down and work this out; one has -- the parent; but, Scouter wife and Scouter husband may need to talk with a Scouter that has more time, experience, respect, authority, to help them see the bigger picture, so to speak. A well-trained Commissioner not only can, but should be, handling matters such as this. IMO, it's not only preferable to getting a letter from the SE, but also a completely legitimate method of resolving this matter. Who knows? Maybe Scouter wife and Scouter husband could/would make great Commissioners once their son Eagle's up. You know, give them some reason, any reason, to avoid being banned from Scouting. Like FieldSports said, if the SE gets involved, right or wrong, he/she will almost certainly take 'em all down.

AFAIC, the Scout Leader was well within her rights and acted appropriately to pull a parent off some other Scout -- that "all in good fun" crap is just that, crap... i.e., completely irrelevant and inappropriate. That Scout was totally under the Scout Leaders' care and protection, not some other kid's mom. What if the Scout Leader hadn't acted immediately, and two seconds later, the Scout accidentally suffered a bump to the head? A week later, the bump turns out to be a concussion; a month later, the concussion turns out to be TBI; a year later, a blood clot kills the Scout. Now what? And who do you think would ultimately be held responsible? Right, the Scout Leader. I don't know about you, but I'd rather have a pissed off mom on my conscience, rather than a hurt or dead Scout.

At the very least, if the Commissioner(s) can't get the adults to play nice, then -hopefully- he/they can find a new Troop for one of the Scouts (and, if necessary, his parents, too <sarcasm>) and follow through to make sure it happens.

[jr56]

Agreed. The boy should not have to suffer. The adults need to act like adults, sit down and work this out. No need for the police to be called, no need for threats to leave the troop.

[AquilaNegra2]

That's the key, though. The police WERE called. If the parent who was questioned by the police is afraid that the other parent will do the same thing again, I don't see how she could stay in the same troop. I would be wondering what is next. Will she call the police and make accusations if something doesn't go her son's way? Maybe it's different in your neck of the woods, but policemen showing up at your door is pretty serious here. It's a lot easier to find another Scout troop than to defend or regain your reputation. The more I think about it, the more I would be backing Leader B, despite her overreaction.

[Billiken]

The more I think about it, the more I would be backing Leader B, despite her overreaction.

Agreed, except I would have also intervened, and IMHO, she did not overreact.

What kind of "lady" wrestles with someone else's child?
Good grief.

[Quailman]

I guess in my mind I imagined the woman getting the scout in a loose headlock and giving him a noogy. Though even that would be unacceptable contact, I shudder any time I picture a grown woman rolling around on the ground wrestling with a teenage boy.

[Mrw]

The more I think about it, the more I would be backing Leader B, despite her overreaction.

Agreed, except I would have also intervened, and IMHO, she did not overreact.

What kind of "lady" wrestles with someone else's child?
Good grief.

I have been wondering the same thing. But the leaders need to figure this one out without trying to remove and innocent child from the troop.