Not "One-Size-fits-All"

[Woodbadgegirl]

Just wanted to share some wonderful things that are going on in my son's scouting career!

First, Not all troops are "One-size-fits-all". If you don't like your troop, find another one!

Those of you that may already know, we had struggles with the troop my son crossed over into two years ago. They had an attendance policy for advancement & recently came up with a rule you could only serve in one position of responsibility for 6 months then you have to do something else.

Well son didn't get elected for something and he is a Star working on his Life. He went to the SM & CC and asked if he could continue being a Den Chief since he wasn't elected for something. They said No, he needed to wait for next election or do a project. Son argued that the scout book says he can and was upset and left. On the way home I told son he could quit scouts if he wanted to. Something I swore I would never say, but son was so upset. He looked me in the eyes and said, "WHAT? Are you crazy, I only have two ranks and I'm a Eagle!" He woke up the next morning and decided to leave the troop. He called a couple of SM from area troops and then made his decision. He then told his old troop and left. I was very proud of him! Tough life choices for a 14 year old!

So if you aren't happy with your troop, don't just live with it or quit scouts! Shop around! And switch troops.

Question to ask troops you visit:

1. Do you follow BSA guidelines
2. Are you Boy Ran?
3. Do you make up rules that aren't BSA rules that effect advancement?
4. How much do you charge?????
5. Do you have an attendance policy?
6. Can you do the same area of responsibility all the way to Eagle if you want to?
7. Can a boy do what ever merit badges he wants and however many he wants at one time?
8. Can parents attend campouts? Especially women?

I think that is it. Those were all our beefs with the old troop. Son is going camping this weekend for the first time with the new troop! Oh and he was elected Patrol leader for his new patrol!

[BM_Crawford]

I agree with everything but the responsibility possition. I feel (as an Eagle Scout myself) that it is vitally important to try different leadership roles and widen your horizon. However I don't feel he should have to quite being a den chief at all just try more than one thing at a time. Other than that I agree with you whole-heartily on your questionair!

[Woodbadgegirl]

Well they were forcing him to do other things when he thought he didn't want to. We have been at the new troop 3 weeks now and he is already the Patrol leader for his new patrol, and is already talking about when he runs for SPL. I had to laugh. It's amazing what boys will do when they aren't forced.

The reason for that question in the questionnaire, Ben is following the scout book when it gives you all the areas of responsibility, it doesn't say you CAN'T do that all the way to Eagle. Those were his questions he wrote down and asked the SM of the different troops!!

[Mick Scouter]

Thanks for the one size doesn't fit all post. I think this is a thought provoking topic.

[Woodbadgegirl]

Thanks for the one size doesn't fit all post. I think this is a thought provoking topic.

Thanks! I just want other young men that might be experiencing the same problems to know that they don't need to quit all together, they can go other places.

[cballman]

also sometimes we as leaders get caught up in the program and forget that we are doing this for the boys. so I try to remember that so that if a child has a problem then I can help them. if they ask me to help them find another troop then by all means I will. and also if another scout has troubles with his troop then I will help them find a troop that suits their needs. just because I am an ASM then my troop does not fit all kids so maybe we can keep them in scouting longer by finding them a good troop.

[BM_Crawford]

Thanks for the one size doesn't fit all post. I think this is a thought provoking topic.

Thanks! I just want other young men that might be experiencing the same problems to know that they don't need to quit all together, they can go other places.

Yes, I think that's a great message, not to quit scouting all together but to try something new! My one friend who just moved here from Kentucky was looking at several troops. Instead of encouraging him to join our troop I encouraged him to experience the different troops in the area and pick the one that fits him best. Luckily he joined mine but I didn't want him to join it if it wasn't a good match.

[ASM-142]

As a leader whenever WeBeLoS come to visit us I always tell both them and their parents to visit more then one troop. I also tell the parents that it should be up to the boy which troop he eventually joins. I also tell them if they choose another troop and it does not work out theat they are always welcome in mine.

[Scouting179]

If he wasn't happy he's right to have left, but I wonder if there were other things going on. Generally, if there's only one point of disagreement, things can be worked out.

The option of doing a project does require SM approval. Trying different jobs is good too, so I see the SM's point of view but I also agree they should have found him some job right away especially if he's motivated to keep progressing.

When we have more kids than jobs (at 1 kid per job), we simply make more than 1 kid holding the same postition. Right now we have 4 Troop Guides since we have lots of younger Scouts right now.

[wagionvigil]

When we discussed this some time ago we all suggested this and I am glad you took our advice. I personally would go one step furthur becaiuse I am that type of person. I would file a complaint with the Service center about the leadership of the other troop. I would find out why they are allowed to have rules that violate BSA policies. And If I did not get anywhere there I would go to Region then National if necessary. The former troop is hurting a whole lot of youth.

[Woodbadgegirl]

I personally would go one step furthur becaiuse I am that type of person. I would file a complaint with the Service center about the leadership of the other troop.

I asked my son if he wanted to do this and he said "No." He didn't want to be vindictive, and even by reporting them isn't, he felt it was. I left that up to him. We did call and talk to National several times when we were dealing with all of this last December.

With their attendance policy, it took him 8 months to receive his Star rank instead of the required 4. He told me the night he was upset, that it was going to take him until he was 15 to earn Life with this troop!

The former troop is hurting a whole lot of youth.

I totally agree. I get sick when I hear of anyone joining that troop. I still have friends there, but I don't bad mouth the troop, so I don't tell our story, I just say it didn't meet our needs.

[Woodbadgegirl]

If he wasn't happy he's right to have left, but I wonder if there were other things going on. Generally, if there's only one point of disagreement, things can be worked out.

He discussed this with the SM & the CC and they were firm that he wasn't going to be allowed to continue to be a Den Chief. My son at on point said to them "So you are forcing me to give up something I really enjoy and give up my den?" They said "Well we aren't forcing you but the committee voted on this and we have decided that you can't finish this area of responsibility". Ben looked at me, because I'm on the committee, I never voted for that. Oh that was the night I had to leave the meeting early because my husband was thought to be having a heart attack and being rushed to the hospital. Ben got so upset because he was trying to argue his case as politely as possible, and they keep shutting him down. He finally got up and left the meeting. I turned and looked at both of the SM & CC and told them they were going to lose that boy. The just shrugged their shoulders as if they didn't care. I also told them if they had been truthful with all their stupid rules at the very beginning, we would have NEVER joined this troop.

Here is my theory as to why they were being this way with my son. I have been wanting to go camping with this troop ever since I finished Woodbadge! They don't like "Females" going camping with them. I think they used Ben as a way to get rid of me. It's a shame too, because I love scouting and love to help out the troop.

The option of doing a project does require SM approval. Trying different jobs is good too, so I see the SM's point of view but I also agree they should have found him some job right away especially if he's motivated to keep progressing.

I agree, but when you feel like you are being forced to do something you kind of shut down. That's why when I talked to the new troop's SM and explained everything, he said Ben could do whatever he wanted to do. He could continue Den Chief or be elected to what ever office the boys elected him too. He just recently got elected to Patrol Leader of the Scorpions! He is already talking about running for SPL at the next election because he wants to make some changes in the troop. They are a little to disorganized for my son, and he wants to help make it better.

But it's funny, when a troop lets the boys run it and do what they feel ready to do, boys will enjoy and appreciate it more. If you force a boy, he will lock up and shut down.

I'm just glad we are in the new troop! They told Ben if he decided to join their troop it was a package deal, he couldn't come without his mom. He laughed!!

Ben will be working at Camp Belzer a Cub day camp here in Indiana this summer. He plans to earn his Life by July and the new troop has already told him that if he earns the badges, he can! I'm very excited!

[Lynda J]

It is good to see a troop that encourages boys to advance instead of trying to slow them down. Kevin will be 12 next Saturday. He is currently Star but will have completed that on June 6. Everything is complete except the time. The SM told him Monday that on on June 6 they will do his SMC. And will set the BOR for June 13. That will make him starting Life before he leaves for summer camp.

[Woodbadgegirl]

Wow! 12 and a life scout! That will make him one of the youngest Eagles I have every known!! That's cool!!

Ben will be 15 by the time he gets to Eagle, his goal was 14, but the old troop kinda kept that from happening. Oh well.

[Lynda J]

He wants to be Eagle by 16. Which is fine with me. He also wants to earn all the palms. He currently has 4 of the required badges and has 12 total with 4 in the works. He plans of doing Emergency Prep at summer camp.
And in August there is a Merit Badge College and he wants to the two Citizenship badges he hasn't done. He is very focused. Sometimes it can be hard. He is a foster I got when he was 4 and every time his mother gets involved he gets really upset. He loves her but has no respect or trust for her.

I am very very proud of him. The last elections he was ask if he wanted to run for SPL and he said no that he didn't feel his leadership skills were good enough. So he is currently PL. When is thinks he is ready he will run and it is up to him.

[Woodbadgegirl]

Sounds like he needs to go to WhiteStag to improve his confidence in his leadership skills!!

He is a foster care child? Wow! What a wonderful testimony he is!! Thanks for sharing this with us!!