by momma_bee » Thu Jul 07, 2005 7:01 am
I will be away for almost 2 weeks, so don't think I'm ditching the thread. But, I won't be answering for a while.
When you say programming, what do you mean? I am used to program helps and themes with suggested ideas for meetings. Is there something like that for the Troop?
I realized last night that a large part of our problem is communication. CC is long-distance, SM works 2 different jobs and lives at 2 different houses. (oh, it isn't as weird as it sounds) Throw in some 2-income homes, a new baby, 2 GS leaders, a school board member and a dad who works nights and it is hard to get everyone on the same page. Along those lines, I don't think the SM knows what I can do or what I am willing to do, so he is doing things half-way so they are complete inside of letting me do a better job. (Like phone calls and such)
We have 2 patrols. One has 2 boys who just made Star. They rushed through Webelos in 10 months (used the fast track program) 3 of their 4 parents are registered as merit badge counselors. For want of a better term, they are the older parents/patrol. The new patrol is 6 boys who are a good mix of every problem and promise. Parents work days, and nights. Lower income and pay for what they want. Sports and solitude. The new boys.
The older boys are not leading, planning or doing. I see this as a parent problem. The older parents have never been trained and act like they know all about what boys can't do. It is a different philosphy. I see what they can do if they are taught.
The older parents are badge happy. Each meeting focus on badges, not scout skills and they are not badges the newer boys are interested in. Oh, they liked it for a week, and would have completed the requirements, but 3-4 weeks of coin collecting is a bit much. Blue cards are not filled out.
The troop is not willing to plan events. Summer is hard because folks have ball and vacations and there is no way to make everyone happy, but plan something anyhow. When I suggest ideas, you get the list of why not.
Leadership is by a drawing. Yep - the new boys needed a patrol leader and asst patrol leader and they drew 2 names out of a hat. In six months the asst will become patrol leader and they will draw a new name. There was no 'training' for the leaders - they don't know what to do and I can't tell them. I don't know either (that is why I'm here)
I think the SM wants to sit in a corner and wait for the boys to lead, but the parents have taken over. I don't want to become another one of those parents. The older parents seem to baby their sons. There are no health issues that prevent them from doing activities or leading. When we camped, our SPL could not tie a taut-line and his mom sent him to sit in the car while the younger boys cleaned up, because 'he was cold' I found him, and the other boy in his patrol, told them the new boys were cold too and the sooner they helped the sooner we'd all warm up.
I sat on their BOR for Star. I was told to take notes because we had to ask each boy the EXACT same questions. The didn't know the difference between the oath and law. Didn't know who they interviewed for Communicator. Didn't know what badges they had earned since their last BOR. The only service project they could describe was a year old (but they had FUN, I'll grant that) And, I learned that if your buddy gets frostbite, you should warm him up slowly and cut off his fingers.
So, now that you are overloaded with info.
The older parents want to be sure their sons earn Eagle, but only do just what they need to get by.
There are younger parents who feel that way too. They weren't involved in Cubs, and I'm trying to get them involved now, but they have their draws on their time. I want to be more involved and encourage these boys to GROW but I don't want to be a meddling parent.
And, I can see conflicts between my mindset and the other mindset within the troop. I have had a minor one already. (While working on physical fitness, they put the boys on a treadmill to see how fast they could walk. I was at the meeting 30 days later (for improvement) and saw my son get on the treadmill and he told her to set it at '5'. She tried to talk him out of it, because it was ok if he went slower and if he asked her to stop, he wouldn't have completed the requirement. He kept telling her he could do it. When she saw me, she asked me if he could and if I allowed her to set it 'that high' When I told her it was up to him, and he told her yes, she started it. Then, she stood with him between us, talking about how she didn't want it that fast because she didn't want him to fail and how no one else set theirs that high. I pulled her aside and pointed out that she was not encouraging him, and he was more apt to do do well if she was positive. She told me that she doesn't know the new boys and doesn't know what they can't do. I told her that I believed them when they told me they CAN do it, and if her son told me he could do something, I would help him try to meet his goal. She hasn't spoken to me since, because I don't know anything about keeping kids safe.)
Off to pack for GS camp.